My Story
Sometimes you see someone's life on Instagram and it feels they have it all - the medals, the running goals, surrounded by likeminded people, and making new memories whether it's in the every day or travelling to new places. But there's a reason it's known as the "highlight reel". During my journey to get where I am now I have tried to share the highs and lows, and how I overcome challenges to be the most resilient, but authentic, version of myself. So here's my story. From the beginning. Happy reading!
Trigger warning: my journey includes being a 'victim' of domestic abuse - if you can relate, please reach out for support here.
Rewind to 2011...
I was officially in the "overweight" BMI category for the first time in my life. I was in a violent relationship and had turned to food for comfort, and control. I was isolated from college friends and family with every part of my life being controlled. I had zero self-worth and completely lost who I was. But by the end of 2011 I found some fight from deep within. I left the relationship, and everything that came with it, behind and started over. In the search to improve my health, I turned to loosing weight through Weight Watchers and began exercising again.
1 year on...
I lost over a stone, and started to find my confidence. I was going out with friends and finding some sort of "me" again. I was learning portion control and eating less but my relationship with food wasn't healthy going through periods of restriction and binge eating. I returned to the gym and excessively exercised as a way of managing my weight. I was hard on myself, often repeating the negative mantras about myself that my ex had said to me.
Into 2014...
A couple of years later and life had returned to some sort of 'normality' but I continued to seek validation externally through 'people pleasing' and being the best I could be in every aspect - career, health, friends. In search of 'perfection' I joined my first 100-day gym challenge but what I actually found was education around how to fuel my body properly and improve my relationship with food and exercise.
The setbacks then came...
I continued to enjoy various fitness challenges - both inside and outside the gym. I started to be kinder to myself as I settled into a new long-term relationship. However in 2016 I had two major setbacks - I picked up a knee injury from trail running whilst training for OCR challenges AND my health took a major dip after I came off the contraceptive pill.
I had hoped coming off the pill would make me fitter and slimmer but what it actually did was uncover how stressed and ill my body was. I had various symptoms ranging from adult acne, severe gut problems and even concerns regarding female health. After various tests ranging from coeliac to cancer, I got the all clear and no medical professional would help me. Just offered various pills and potions, which I actually learnt (eventually) was making me worse. I was alone and debilitated by symptoms affecting my every day life.
I became a girl on a mission...
I wasn't about to succumb to this being my life - after all I had been through worse, right? I researched the hell out of my symptoms and gained knowledge in balancing female hormones and the power of gut health (yes, this was before 'gut health' was all mainstream and sexy!).
Once I knew this, I was able to treat the cause, rather than the symptoms. Slowly but surely I healed my body through small and every day changes to my life. I got the symptoms under control to live healthily. After helping myself, I wanted to help others too and so qualified as a Naturopathic Health Coach.
I achieved sustainable, healthy, results...
During the pandemic, lockdown actually gave me the time to master these new skills, and way of life. By 2021, I had learnt how to nourish my body through wholefoods that supported health and sustainable weight loss, naturally. I enjoyed various exercise again from strength training to hiking mountains to running races. I finally found a balance with loving my body and giving it what it needed. I felt connected - mind, body and soul.
Living a life aligned with who you are...
Being truly happy and healthy is more than what you eat and how you move your body. It's living a life aligned to your core values and who you want to be. In parallel, to becoming healthier physically I worked on myself. Those demons of negative mantras and self worth still crept in at times, I still found myself putting others happiness before my own and not sticking to my own boundaries or saying "no". This was the last part of the jigsaw for me. After a 6-week 'emotional rebalance' therapy course in 2020, I slowly was awakening to who I wanted to be - and this didn't align with the life I was living.
Turning 30 and I found 'me'...
2022 and turning 30 was like being woken from a dream as I had the realisation, and mindset shift, of how I wanted to live life. I walked away from my old life and everything that came with it, including my dream house and a 7-year relationship.
Starting over, again, was one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make. This time life was predictable, calm and settled - but I found myself put in a (metaphoric) box and constrained to live in a way that wasn't me.
After making this choice, I started to connect with people who shared the same values on life as me. Who opened my eyes to seeing the world differently. And this tribe was amongst the running community. At races, online, at parkrun - I fell in love with living again and found a way of truly being me without any pretence.
The now...
I'm fit, healthy, motivated and happy. I've broken free from the 'deficit mindset' and I am no longer searching for external validation. I feel a sense of achievement through self-fulfilment on personal goals, not what any number or stat says. I nourish my body and practice self-love daily.
I love running, hiking and strength training because it brings me joy.
I love being part of the running community and meeting likeminded people.
I love inspiring, motivating and helping others through sharing my knowledge and experiences.
This is me without the mask or living to someone else's narrative. It was a scary leap to make, but one that was worth every moment to get here.
Improving physical and mental wellbeing is an inside-out job. There is no quick fix. There is no physical health without mental health. Life can throw you curveballs at times. It's okay to have a bad day or feel low - acknowledge the feelings, validate them and be kind to yourself. Just don't dwell there for too long. Focus on what is in your control and move forward.